Drongo No Longer

He was having the kind of day where trouble followed him like a dark cloud that threatened to drench him in misery. No matter what he said or did or how hard he tried to do what he thought was right trouble would follow him wherever he went. The problem was that Drongo was the sort of guy who tried to please everyone. You know what happened in the story about the guy who tried to please everyone. He ended up pleasing no one. Not only that but poor Drongo had gotten himself a reputation for being a troublemaker. Everyone knew of his eagerness to please others and some people took advantage of this. That was how he had gotten a reputation for being a troublemaker.

Well one day he met Larry. Larry was just the opposite. Larry pleased no one but himself. Larry thought what he wanted to think. Larry just said what he wanted to say. Larry did what he wanted to do. He was happy as Larry, (just as his name says) he was free as a bird and luck followed him around like a bird sweetly singing in his ear.

Drongo told him the sad story of his life thus far. Larry listened carefully. He thought about his new friend’s problem. Then he thought some more. What could he do? What could he advise? Then he thought what if I tell him to do what I do. My life is sweet and carefree. What could he lose by living as I do for one month? If it didn’t work he could just go back to doing what he used to do.

He sat Drongo down and told him his plan. Well at this stage Drongo was pretty desperate and willing to try anything. So for the next month Drongo did what Larry advised. Drongo thought what he wanted to think. Drongo said what he wanted to say. Drongo did what he wanted to do. He was happy as Larry, (even though his name was Drongo) he was free as a bird and luck followed him around like a bird sweetly singing in his ear.

Well not everyone liked the new Drongo and this upset Drongo a little. He went to Larry and told him that no one liked him anymore. Well Larry sat him down and said to him. “Who doesn’t like you?” Drongo said “Bob, the guy I go fishing with doesn’t like me anymore.” “Why doesn’t Bob like you?” asked Larry. “He doesn’t like me because I did what you said.” Said Drongo. “What did you do?” asked Larry. “I followed your advice.” said Drongo. “I didn’t like buying beer every time we went fishing. So I stopped buying the beer. I like a beer as much as the next bloke but when I go fishing I want to go fishing not get pissed. He said I wasn’t his mate anymore because I was selfish.” Drongo said sadly. “Do you really like Bob?” asked Larry seriously. “Not really, he’s just someone I go fishing with.” said Drongo. “What if I went fishing with you instead of Bob? Would you like that?” said Larry. “Would you get upset if I didn’t bring any beer?” asked Drongo warily. “No, of course not, I don’t want to get pissed either, I want to go catch some fish.” said Larry, laughing. “Ok, that sounds great. How about we go on Saturday?” said Drongo, smiling broadly. “Great. We’ll catch heaps.” said Larry, smiling. So, on Saturday they went fishing and caught five fish apiece and had a feast.

Two days later Drongo saw Larry and told him “Neil and Trevor don’t like me anymore. They called me weak as piss because I won’t go shooting with them anymore.” said Drongo visibly upset. “Don’t you like shooting?” asked Larry patiently. “No, I love animals, I don’t like killing them. I just wanted Neil and Trevor to like me.” said Drongo. “Why don’t you go and tell them that you love animals and don’t want to shoot them anymore?” Said Larry. “But, they’ll call me weak as piss and tell me to bugger off.” Said Drongo. “You don’t know that for sure do you?” said Larry. “Well no.” said Drongo. “Well I know Neil and Trevor and even though they like shooting they’re nice blokes. I’m sure they’ll understand.” So, next time Drongo saw Neil and Trevor he told them how he felt. Next time Drongo saw Larry he was smiling. “How did it go?” asked Larry. “They didn’t laugh at me and they didn’t say I was weak as piss. They said I was a stupid bugger for not telling them. They asked me if I like playing pool. I told them I loved playing pool. Now every time I see them at the pub we have a drink and a game of pool.” Said Drongo. “See, what did I tell you?” said Larry.

A week later Drongo saw Larry and told him “Tracey and Michelle don’t like me anymore. They said they won’t go out with me anymore.” “Why is that, Drongo?” asked Larry. “They called me a tight-ass because I wouldn’t shout them drinks all night.” Said Drongo sadly. “I thought they liked me. They used to laugh and joke around with me until closing. Now they won’t talk to me.” Drongo complained. “Are you rich Drongo?” asked Larry. “No. I work at the supermarket on the checkout” said Drongo. “Do Tracey and Michelle know that?” asked Larry smiling. “No. I told them I was Manager of the Deli.” Said Drongo feeling embarrassed. “Why did you tell them that?” asked Larry. “Me and the guys were talking about girls and they said that girls like guys with money. I thought they wouldn’t like me if they knew I worked at the checkout.” Said Drongo. “Maybe, you should tell them the truth. What have you got to lose?” said Larry. So next time Drongo went to the pub he told Tracy and Michelle the truth. The next time Drongo saw Larry he was very happy. “You look happy, what happened?” asked Larry. “I told them that I worked at the checkout and that I wasn’t a Manager. I told them that I was sorry that I lied to them. I told them I said I was a manager because I wanted to impress them. They said that if they knew that I worked at the checkout they wouldn’t have expected me to shout them all night. They thought I was offering to shout because I could afford it. Now that they know my real job when we go out we all take turns shouting.” “That’s great Drongo” said Larry genuinely happy for him.

This went on for the rest of the month with Drongo doing what Larry asked and going to him for advice when it didn’t quite work out but near the end of the month Drongo got the hang of what Larry was trying to show him.

At the end of the month Drongo was much happier. He thought what he wanted to think. He said what he wanted to say. He did what he wanted to do. He was happy as Larry, (even though his name was Drongo) he was free as a bird and luck followed him around like a bird sweetly singing in his ear. Not everyone liked him but he didn’t care because some people did like him and besides he liked himself.

And best of all, no one called him Drongo anymore. They called him Stan because that was his real name.